A standard routine on many American sitcoms in the 70s would declare that they intended to stay up until the wee hours so that they could watch “Godzilla Eats Cleveland” or such city on the Late Late Show. To Joe Average, it is a passing joke. However to Joe Goji-fan it is distasteful, offensive in its blatant inaccuracy. Godzilla has done a many spiteful things in his day — he’s stepped on people, stomped on people, burned them to a crisp, but he has never, ever, eaten anyone. But if there’s one takeaway from The War of the Gargantuas is that people get eaten! I’m talking straight cheeeeeeeeewed up! With big, gnarly teeth! And then spit out! People! Eaten! It’s quite the sight!
Frankenstein is back! A little less ugly than before, but still ugly nonetheless. Frankenstein was so ugly in Frankenstein Conquers the World, even the female scientist decided to remember things differently, only conjuring memories of a cute Ewok in her mind, and it don’t blame her. Damn he was ugly.
But let’s give a hand to the JSDF. Usually they’re hilariously out of their element, but The War of the Gargantuas showcases the most effective showing by the JSDF to date! They saw a monster that was not only chowing down on the populace and pork, but also had the nerve to be being excessively ugly, so they took action and handled it like a boss. They really had the green Gargantua on the ropes. Who could factor in that he’d have a caring brother in The Monster Formerly Known as Frankenstein who would run in and make the save?
But they should have. In a world rife with giants monsters, you gotta be willing to think outside the box. Like using volcanoes. Volcanoes have a good track record against Kaiju. They should be humanity’s go to in these events!
The War of the Gargantuas is truly is an exhilarating affair, as we learn about the wonderful world of cloning and why there are two gargantuas, but one burning question that goes unanswered is what’s up with all the giant octopuses? In the water or in the woods, everywhere Frankenstein goes, a pissed off plater of calamari isn’t far behind. The WAR of the Gargantuas is more of a family tiff. But whatever is going on between the gargantuas and the cephalopods goes much deeper. Now THAT is a story that needs to be told.
The theme invokes an air the creepy and macabre… that would work better if the gargantuas weren’t so ugly!
The gargantuas look like artist renderings inspired by the unflattering press’s opinion of the Beatles with their shaggy hair and stubby arms that make them easy to discount.
Frankenstein, Sanda, Gaira… call them whatever you want, they’re still ugly. Ugly and now eating people. They deserve to be shot!
Just how much faith can be placed in a scientist who embarks on mountain expeditions dressed like he’s ready for cocktail hour?
People are getting eaten! Unless you’re really good looking, in which case you just get dropped. Go figure.
Any theory on why the monster formerly in your charge is suddenly sprouting out clones will sound plausible if delivered with curt confidence.
War of the Gargantuas doesn’t mess around and gets right to it! There’s a monster eating people like popcorn right out the gate, ‘ucking with all manner of fishermen. Alert the army and deal with it expeditiously!
Sometimes there’s just no reasoning with family.
